"If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." -Juan Ramon Jiminez

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Being sick is stupid.

After being sick for more than a week, you stop believing you're going to get better. It becomes part of your mindset that you will not be able to do the things you enjoy because you won't feel up to them; that you can only do the things you have to do. It's a horrible feeling to wake up at night from a dreamless sleep you began at four in the afternoon drenched in your own sweat. It felt like I had the fever that never goes away.

But every day I feel a little better, every day I can do a little bit more. Sometimes the hopelessness returns. Even though I can feel organs in my stomach crunch with every cough, I know that a day is not far away where I'll look back on the days lost to sleep and fevers as a sign to be strong.


And on the offchance I die somehow, I guess that'll be kinda creepy to reread. I wonder how many screen names and stuff there are for dead people; accounts still active but sitting inactive.


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