"If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." -Juan Ramon Jiminez

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

a dream.

chuck is dead / flower store / naqoyqatsi (March 9/10 of 2004)

i had been away from my two friends, shankha and charles, for something like a few months, when i decided to return to chuck's house at night, in an attempt to scare/surprise them with my return. I hid in the bathroom and jumped out at what I thought was one of them, and it turned out to be Mrs. Ackerman. I asked her what room they were in, and she wouldn't really answer me, so I suggested rooms down the hall. She began to get very scared at my suggestions, and then she finally told me what had happened while I was gone - charles had been killed, at least him, if not both of them. I even saw the trashcan (!) where his body was - deformed, rotting, bloody, disgusting. It had been so long, I pulled his corpse out with my one hand and threw it into the tub where I started to clean it with a bottle of piss. (I had brought it back from wherever I had been.) Mrs. Ackerman was thankful for my job of cleaning him up. After I turned around, the body was gone, and as I tried to access it again, my mind turned into some kind of Internet Explorer-type deal. I saw a small photo of his bloody body in the tub and some kind of stupid photoshop titling around it, like someone had used this as a splash page for one of those sites that posts pictures of real death and violence. I couldn't get it to go where I wanted it; to the page where his body was cleaned from my work, but I gave up. I don't remember exactly what happened then, but I was with chuck in the city for something, and I fell through this weird secret entrance, holding a flower, into some weird store. When leaving, for some reason I asked the manager woman (in spanish at first) if I could have the flower. She turned into this huge bitch, telling me it was theirs (when she knew it wasn't) and wouldn't let me leave. Eventually I got the fuck out of there. Then, Chuck, his Dad, and I went to see Naqoyqatsi at some special showing. It's hard to describe the place we were at; it was outside of a few storefronts like ridgewood, with seating, but almost in front of my house, that had 2 garages on top of each other. I don't know where the fuck my brain gets this shit. Anyway, before it started, I ran in the lower level of the house-like place ( i guess they were running the showing) to ask about using the bathroom. The guy said I'd have to ask the guy upstairs, so I took this little elevator glass thingy up there, and asked him, but he said he needed "a, uh, token," pointing to some watches, where I gave him mine, telling him the word was collateral. I used the bathroom, I think, then came back, to take my watch back, and as I put it back on, I smirked, wondering if he noticed I had 2 watches on that day. (...) I exited through the top level's garage door, to realize I was too high up to jump down, so somehow I got back downstairs and we watched the movie. It turns out Godfrey Reggio made the movie like a drama about a family, and it was pretty damn good. I remember remarking to Charles that it looked like House of Sand and Fog from what I had seen at the Oscars. He was like "oh no, house of sand and fog sucked, it was way worse than this."


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