"If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." -Juan Ramon Jiminez

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Today Andy and I drove out with my father into the Middle of Nowhere, NJ to see the world's largest train set. Mrs. New Jersey 1999 (or something like that) wrote that "Northlandz is truly a New Jersey Treasure". But it sure is far away from anywhere.
Being sick is stupid.

After being sick for more than a week, you stop believing you're going to get better. It becomes part of your mindset that you will not be able to do the things you enjoy because you won't feel up to them; that you can only do the things you have to do. It's a horrible feeling to wake up at night from a dreamless sleep you began at four in the afternoon drenched in your own sweat. It felt like I had the fever that never goes away.

But every day I feel a little better, every day I can do a little bit more. Sometimes the hopelessness returns. Even though I can feel organs in my stomach crunch with every cough, I know that a day is not far away where I'll look back on the days lost to sleep and fevers as a sign to be strong.


And on the offchance I die somehow, I guess that'll be kinda creepy to reread. I wonder how many screen names and stuff there are for dead people; accounts still active but sitting inactive.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Countdowns and Resolutions

"I guess it's been a good year, for roses and aggressions, for flowers and freeways
I guess I'll put a smile on, or get a new girlfriend, ya put a new hat on"

Mom: Well, so far so good, we haven't seen any terrorism.
Me: Mom, it's only been three minutes.

20 days to the release of the new 36CF CD, 44 days until my GDL (god/weather permitting), and uhh 15 days for Illy's birthday.

Watching CNN coverage of the Times Square New Year is such a great way to end and begin a year. I sorta figured the snipers would go nuts on everyone at the end as like, an extra surprise or something. But I lost that bet.

Another thought ran though my head- that ball that the mayor pushes down to get the big ball rolling... that must not be connected 'cause what if he was off by like a second?

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One! .... one!"

Oh well. Happy New Year you nuts.